My Obsessions for the Year 2010

The year 2010 marks the end of the dacade... a dacade which started with a milenium bug, when everyone was concerned what's gonna happen? will the world survive another 10 years or not.

The year started with alot of things happening in both our personal lives and the professional lives. I wasnt sure what this year is going to bring, I initially thought its going to be same year as 2009, with the same friend's outings, nothing to worry... But my obsessions for the year 2010 changed considerably from 2009.

2009 was a year of facebook keeping in touch with friends... for me this year was all family and family concerns.

I remember on the new years eve I was out with my family... to go and have some dinner to any good dining place but everything was closed. We were strictly asked to stay at home and do nothing...but all we wanted was to go out and have dinner at some place... and all places were closed, we went to zamzama, and PECHS and tariq road...everything was shut down... BUMMER right?

Well, this year has changed me considerably and so has my thinking for life has changed. Taking one day at a time and not running after things... Jo hai so hai.... Jo nahin hai..so nahi hai... No point in running after... coming after the thought that jo hona hai... woh hoga... or jo nahin hona... wo hargis nahi hoga...

My ten obsessions for the year 2010:

1) Vampire Diaries - Ian Sommerhalder and the soundtrack of TVD - absolutely wonderful
2) Cooking and baking... finding new and innovative recipes online.. and making them... following instructions... taking laptop to the kitchen... almost everyday...
3) Tailors, stitching, designing clothes... not only buying expensive and branded clothes...but designing them...and making my tailor go crazy..
4) Blogging... hmmph... a little bit... I am still thinking of starting to blog my life... with pictures...almost everyday...making everyday a memorable day... I want to look back to my life as full of excitement though how boring it may be
5) Bigg Boss 4... and salman khan... following him on twitter..watching Bigg Boss 4... and becoming his fan... :D he is AWESOME and the only ROCK STAR!!!!! and finding out that he is a capricorn
6) heels... yes, this year I have bought many expensive heels... and have actually worn them to work... loved the change though
7) tang-pajamas... loved the idea of making tang-pajamas... I have always loved them... but was never sure whether I can actually wear them to work...but I not only stitched them but also worn them to work..
8) rings... everyday wearing almost 3 rings in my hands... :) I bought myself a peach pearl ring
9) taking pictures... thats been always "our thing" and sharing the lovely moments with my friends... :) :) :) and I am proud to be a click and upload type... :)
10) not running after people... yes, this year has been full of that...finally I have grown... I dont care about people who dont want to be in touch with me... no more of "lets make a plan to meet" :)

These are my obsessions for the year 2010.. and looking forward to another happening year of 2011... It would be great to be in touch with my friends... my obsession from Facebook is almost over... no more farmville...and too much of fb status updates... no more too much bugging of ppl on fb... getting over all of it... May be its part of growing up... and maturing... but loving it... :D :D :D

Summer Vacations

Ahhh well, for some people summer vacations has always been the time when they spend it away....going away to some exotic resorts, going to their native villages... whereas for us... it has always been spending the time in our home... and plz...not at all home bound... there has always been so much to do.. :) and full action packed..

The earliest summer vacations which I remember are from the early nineties... in UBL Flats... the days were spent playing school school, saib saib, chupan chupayee (hide n seek), tip top, cho cho... and so many other activities... and offcourse visit to the zoo...safari parks...and so many other places... :) and offcourse the picnics..

hahahahaha... and I remember the last few days, when we used to sit down and cover the copies with brown paper and plastic cover, naming/labeling the copies and completing the sixty days handwriting....both english and urdu... and the St Peter's van... so many good memories..


Moving ahead... the summer vacations were still action packed... the movies, the cousins coming over... playing different kind of games...the cycling around the area... and picnics ... and watching the movies... :)

Then, came the days... when we played... cricket, badminton, throw ball... U name it and we played it all... Ohh... I used to love playing with dolls...so hell yes, I used to spend most of my time making clothes for my dolls... designing them... and playing... the wedding of the dolls... Friends, Cousins coming over.. The cooking and baking at home... we made donuts, the methais, the halwas...and what not at home.. :)

Watching movies late night... and meetha parathas and blah blah... It used to be so much fun.. ;) The shopping sprees... going for shopping in Bus / Rikhshaws / Taxis... and the walks... the chit chatting...

Offcourse, the studies for O' Levels - studying and exercising... Giving tuitions to children... of all age groups...

The cooking and baking continued.... :) Growing up...and studying at Fast..the Summer Vacations were spent Interning at different MNCs... Jaldi bhaghna... travelling in buses and rikhshaws... Suits and shoe shopping... spending the stipend when the semester starts for books / clothes / shoes / CDs and other stuff... the Tuitions continued..

Well, this year... I wanted little flavour of the summer vacations which were spent at home...shopping / cooking / reading books / watching movies / sleeping... Cleaning... and offcourse Mummy's dants... "kamray se bahir awaz nahin ani chahiey" :) hehehhee... and I got all that... Just when I needed it most. Loved it!!!

Oh, I'm Alive!!

Yeah, thats a great feeling to have that yes, you are alive...!! and this day and the other too shall pass... the feelings may pass... These days I dunno I have a feeling that I havent achieved much... and there is a long way to go... and that I have slowed down... may be thats what the "butterflies in my stomach" are about.

Hmmmm... thinking of ways how to get rid of these feelings... the feeling of nothing-ness and sense of less or no achievement... I think thats a killer feeling... and may be this will give me motivation to do something and offcourse to get a few things done... :)

People in our life...

We live in this world... we socialize, we get to know strangers who are not connected to us directly... then, we make them friends and at times best friends..

Man is a social animal... we are always surrounded by people.... at times we are glad that we are connected to such people and at times we are scared of the people we are connected with. So it happens we also loathe a few people we get acquainted with... or are friends with...

For a person like me... who was never famous during school days... Never had a huge group of friends... I was never surrounded with friends...since I didnt had a "kewl" personality... *rolling my eyes* like I have it now... but still... I have managed to make a few friends in my life...

And offcourse I have friends for different situations... yes, I have this stupid differentiation... I refer to different ppl for different situations... when I need to share something, I share it with few exclusive friends... if I have to whine... I whine in front of different kind of ppl...who actually listen and give me advice.. When I need to take an advice I refer to different kind of people... when I have to bug... I bug to different kind of people...

and offcourse, a few friends have actually spoiled me... :( which is kinda sad... they have spoiled me to the limit that I actually miss doing a few things with them... :S and they dont know bcoz I never let them know how much they matter to me... :S :( :|

There are a few people with whom I got acquainted, befriended with them... and offcourse, then, they just backed off... and its kinda sad... they just vanished away from my life... no matter how much I try to understand what is it...which makes them run away from me..I find no reason... A few actually asked for a piece of my life... and I have given it to them...what more do they want??? Ore kia chahiey!!! :P Yeah Yeah... thats another story I never let them know how special they are in my life... but I have realized running after ppl do not make me a special friend / person in their life... :) hence, I am not gonna whine in front of them...or beg them... if they want to be an ass... so be it..!! :D I'd be a bigger ass than them... :D if they can show me attitude I can do the same with them... and offcourse, new ppl fill the gaps :) :) yeah yeah a few things wont be same in life... but so what... if they dont care then, why shud I care... I am not gonna run after them... :S :S No way...!!! :D :D :D :D :D

There are a few people in my life who really matter to me... :) and they, shall continue to play an important part in my life.. :) They are friends for life for me... :D

I think I have alot of whining and gloating... its enough for now...:)

Confused..

A state of "Confusion" is what I am not familiar with... I always know what I want and how I want it... I am always dead sure about things... and even if I am confused I dont let ppl know whats happening inside my brain... not many ppl get to sneak peak into my brain... and I am hating it...Arrrggggghhh... how difficult it is for me to understand that life is full of ppl, who just think of themselves...and who dont even care what would others think...and who are mean...


Yes, I am still not going to run after things... I am happy... and I am content... but the feeling of comparison... comparing myself to others... Hate it...!! HATE IT!!! and DETEST IT!!! I am not saying that I am the best... but I want ppl to let me know what are my deficiencies...and where I can improve myself... Even though I know it will be hard for me to understand and yet again to digest it...but I promise to be civil... Let me know...!!


And what I get to hear is..."Please, dont discuss it with ur fellow friends"!! Really..!!??? I dont think so... its not that good as I hoped it would be..!!


I know what I need... I need sweetness overload... and want to cheer for others... and bring a smile on my face and on others tooo... :) There will be another year...I'd shine some other day... I will have it some other time... I am far too young for all this... and I have a loooonnnggg way to go...!! And I have yet to learn alot of things... I have to go FAR... and offcourse these stupid ppl cannot make me feel less of myself... I am a self-motivated person... and to hell with everyone... I know what I have to do...!!!


Life is hard... working is even more hard... and giving "guys" a tough time is also hard...and I know I can do it!!! :P :D


So no more hard feelings... no more of the dread... :) I shall live... and let them live in peace till next year!!

surrounded by men full of themselves...

a really funny thought came to my mind... Hehehe... Working on this new project which involves four major departments of operations group and several stakeholders... All the men sitting in key positions only think that the bank is running only on their shoulders... And then there is my team...which also has men full of themselves thinking that only they can make all the wrong right... Beech main bachi main.. I have to keep their tempers down... Hahaha... Request them to be polite.. Ask them to be as cooperative with us as they can be... Hehehehe... Now thinking abt it, it just made me laugh the irony of it all... Sorry, no names and no dynamics of the project... My lips are sealed...

Falling in love needs guts....

Lessons we learn…

There are a lot of lessons one can learn everyday… like patience, not being over smart, being proactive about things… and blah blah… lol…

Now that the season of Shoaib and Sania Mirza has arised… I have learnt my lesson that falling in love isn’t easy… All that time people are judging you… anticipating what is going to happen next and also, people never leave you alone… Its not that they don’t want to see you happy… its just their inquisitive nature… they want to know whats happening??? Whats going to happen?? Now what is the update?? and yes, their questions never end…
For starters, they issues that Shoaib is Pakistani and she is Indian… then, they had issues, where they are going to live… then, they had issues… is she going to continue playing… is she going to play for india… then, his first marriage… if he is married, then, how can he marry her… then, he is the bad guy…. Hahahahaha….. first sania was qaum ki beti…. Qaum ki bhabhi… and then, they both were bad… and then, people started anticipating… the relationship is not going to live long… Arrrrrgggghhhhh… why do these third people actually matter…??? WHYYYY?????

Who the hell are they???? And whats their concern… ? Are the baraatis? Are they in any relation to this guy Shoaib or Sania… bhai tujhe kia…. U go see whats happening at ur own home?? Why do U care..?? She hugs guys…hmmmph… to that my point was soooo whattttt….. so does meera, reema…saima… and the rest of the females in the industry… and not only that if she wears minis… lol… I can show U females wearing ever lesser clothes.. and they are Pakistanis too… why aren’t we raising voice against them????
Why cant people see these *lovebirds* in peace…??? WHY??? Not only in peace… but also happy…content with what they are doing?? Stop judging them… Fine they are celebrities… and yes, their izzat is our izzat…. But there is a limit to everything…!!!
And yes, from their story I have learnt…yeh ishq nahin asaan… lol… hahahaha… U need to know what decision u r taking… and offcourse U have to know that this is the right decision… if after going through all this rubbish… u cannot survive…then, yes…u don’t have to right to fall in love..

For falling in love U need guts…!!! Do U really have those guts??? And not only patience… U need patience, endurance, tolerance… learn my dear friend… learn from sania and shoaib….!! I truly wish that after going through all this their relationship lives… and all of us learn a lesson…

A place Called here

The book which I am currently reading... A Place Called here from Cecelia Ahern... hmmph... it was boring initially, with a girl who asked alot of questions... and wanted to have all the answers in the world... Well, she is now here... and she doesnt know where she is... and she meets a group of people who were lost some dacade ago... and then, she is having a dialogue with this lady:

"Sometimes people lose more than just socks, Sandy. you can forget where you put them first place of all. Forgetting things is just parts of your memory missing, thats all."

"You can remember again, though."

"Yes, but yoiu dont remember all things, and you dont find all things. Those things end up here, like the touch and smell of someone, the memory of their exact face and the sound of their voice. Its simple if you remember it like this. Everything in life has a place and when one thing moves, it must go somewhere else. Here is the place that all those things move to."

"Have you ever heard your own laughter or cries?"

"Many Times. Well, I had the great privilege of being loved by many people. The more people who love you, the more people you have out there to lose memories. People dont intend to lost memories. Although there are always some things that we would rather forget... Although you do feel like catching them and throwing them back to where they came from. Our memories are the only contact we have. We can hug, kiss, laugh and cry with them over and over again in our minds. They're very precious things to have."

Awww... I just love it...!! Its a very deep thought... and I agree... and this happens to me when I go to the beach... I just throw away the bad feelings... and rejunivate myself... and I bring fresh memories... and these memories I cherish... in those moments, when I feel lonely... when I have alot on mind... and all I need is a little smile...!! :) and these memories reminds me of all the beautiful and loving people I have around me... who really care about me...!! and yes... I do wish ... I could just catch them...and throw them to where they came from!!! and let that person know that he/she has no right to throw me away from their memory!!! Otherwise I'd do the same with them!!! :P :P

Enjoy with what you have...

This is what I have decided today... I am gonna enjoy with what I have... I would stop yearning and getting depressed of the things I dont have... I am not gonna be envious / jealous... I am gonna smile and wish and pray to Almighty Allah that I get it... and then, forget about it...!! I am not gonna keep running after people... I am not gonna run after things... I am not gonna be unhappy / sad / depressed of the things I dont get... if I am not getting it then, its not the right time for me... I shall get it...and if I dont get it... then, I dont need it...!! Yess... this is what I am gonna believe... Well, obviously I am not gonna stop dreaming about things... and I shall not STOP TRYING...!! I shall try but only ONCE... sirf ek dafa so that I dont have the feeling that atleast I didnt give it a try..!! :D :D

I usually feel happy with others happiness... and offcourse, there is also another thing... I am gonna enjoy and dance with their happiness... :) :) Ohh yeah..!! Dance... and sing out loud... and enjoy every moment of things...!! :) of life... :) Whatever its offering I am gonna grab it and be happy with it..!! This is life... :) and offcourse we have to face it / swallow it... and stop worrying... "Jo hona hai woh hona hai... Phir kis baat ka rona hai..."

And offcourse, I believe it... if something is in ur fate... if it has been written in golden words that U deserve it... then, the whole world is gonna conspire and make sure that U get it!!! Oh yeah...

So, this is new me... and I welcome You All to be a part of new me... :) Stop worrying... Why should we run after things... I believe that if we run after something, then, things will be very much difficult for us... :S and the journey will be way more difficult... its not important that U get things ur way... and whatever we have... may be from our perspective its less and if we see it from others perspective its ALLLOOOOTTTTT!!! hehehehe... I have mixed three four movies / books / concepts and have re-evolved... :D Life is tooo short to be worried about things... and running after things...!! Jo Milega apki ki kismet se ziada tou nahin milega... but it doesnt mean that U stop fighting for ur rights... :) it doesnt mean that U stop trying... but running after things... and making things possible from the impossible... hmmmph.. nice to think... but karne ke liye it drains out everything from u... and when things dont happen the way U want them to... U get scared, U get depressed and sad... that may be U didnt try enough infact u had put in all the energy into it..! :) Life is full of surprises... Life is beautiful... Life is full of energy... Life is full of ppl... of all kinds... and we have to bear them... but sar par na sawaar karainh!!

Just take a chilll pilll...!! :) be merry... cherish every moment of life..!!

Best Memories

The best memories I have from my childhood are staying back at my nani's place..and playing around in her house... the Rose bed she had... offcourse we were not allowed to cut any flower...but we used to take pictures with red, pink and yellow roses behind us...

The other best memories are going to Quaid's Moselum and playing around in its gardens and climbing the trees..
Going to the zoo for nashta...with all the picnic preparation...that used to hell lot of fun... Breaking fast at Zoo, Safari park, Aziz Bhatti Park... and what not... everywhere... and yes... the Clifton Beach tooo... :D

Playing in the lawn of UBL Flats... :D Ahhhh... it used to be soo much of fun!! So much of activity..running around the garden... gathering friends... and deciding what to play today...and offcourse teaming... and the fights ... the crying... hehehehe... so much of fun..

Growing up... the school days... O levels was Study, Study and Study... and offcourse with all the tuition students around us... the TV and the Cable TV emerged...

A levels... hell, it was the most fun time I ever had... Friends...and fun... :) Going out for lunches... gathering up for group study and never study but TALK! hehehe...

And fast... the rose gardens... I fell in love with the campus the minute I set foot on it..!! and loved the joy ride from home to fast... I dunno Y I always enjoyed it... and offcourse sleeping, playing, studying... doing everything on the way to and from fast was FUN!! The three buses which I changed...just to be home an hour earlier... :D hahaha... My friends... Ohh they were kewl tooo... but somehow I never managed to create a bond with my friends there... may be because... nobody came up to my expectations... except a few... but later everyone got busy in their own lives that they never had the chance to re-connect and re-bond... :P and I stopped caring...

Ahhh.... My other wonderful memories are from AFF...talking and masti...and the lunches, the shopping..the bus / van rides and offcourse the rikshaw rides... :D Enjoyed it..!! loved it... and at times miss it...!! The rainy days... the going home early days... the No-Driving days... Ahhh... life was so easy and so less complicated.

And then came the driving days, yet another experience, driving and going out, the lunches, the coffeees, the friends get togethers, driving to the beach, for shopping, finding parking space is still an activity for me... lol

The songs... the people I meet during driving, the people I actually tangofied while driving... it was sooo much of fun! :D :D and everyday I make beautiful memories... which brings smile to my face whenever I think of them...!! :)

My Childhood days...

The best memories of my childhood are the days I spent at UBL Flats... Located at Nishter Road... 50 flats built around a huge lawn... No I dont have pictures scanned from those days... but I still remember those days clearly in my memory...

The evening time was the best time we used to have... everyday... teams were made... everyday there was a new game to be played... everyday we fought...and went back home off late hours and the sar kata... hahaha... awesome days..

I remember we played kho kho, barf pani, unch neech, cricket... saib saib... uff what not... played and did everything... especially hide and seek... and ankh macholi... :D

The best was cricket... bcoz there was only one guy... Shakoor uncle ka beta, Qadir... who had all the stuff... the kit... the wickets, the ball, the gloves and everything... hehehehe... and we were so naughty that we used to ask him to bat first... and get him out in the first few balls...so that we can play with his kit...hahahaha... there used to be a time when Qadir used to cry... ke main fielding nahin karonga..its my kit..and I am going to bat...and blah blah... rozana we all used to fight over that kit... and we used to make qadir cry... hahahaha... Wow... used to be so much of fun!! :D lovely and awesome days...

After all these years when we met Qadir... bechara... he cudnt even meet our eyes.. he was so shy...and we were laughing out loud when we sat in the car... back from Malir Cantt... that U cant even imagine...lol...

But one of the awesome days spent at UBL Flats...such a huge lawn...and we all kids used to love doing our thing at the lawn...!! the fountain which was occassionally switched on special occassions... :D the lawn, the flowers, the trees... everything was breathtaking...

“hum hongay kamyaab, hum hongay kamyaab, hum hongay kamyaab ek din…”

“hum hongay kamyaab, hum hongay kamyaab, hum hongay kamyaab ek din…”

Its like a total inspiration…. A complete package…. Its like a ray of hope… that yes… if we keep trying… we will succeed… in anything in life… and that too can be anything…

Well, people need inspiration for many things… for me the inspiration to get off the bed… and to go to office… coming back home tired but still managing to give my family a little time… time to recreate…and work hard… yes, we need inspiration for everything..and every second of life.. that’s why Allah has given the concept of “naiki” (good deeds) and “badi” (bad deeds).. its like if you do this… U will earn sawab… or if U do this… u will gain nothing … but infact reduce the good deeds… He has told us… that everything is being written down… by our angels and its like a race…that which one notes down the most till we die… :S the inspiration to do good deeds are the rewards which we are going to get at the end of this world… and the way leads to heavens… the picture which Allah has shown to us… is an inspiration for us to do more good deeds than bad deeds.

For me… the thought of making sure that I make anyone’s day special…values to me a lot… bringing smile to a face… and giving my crappy advices… ask any of my friend around… they’d make sure and tell u… that I do that a lot… I just make them smile… I give them crappy advices… I tell them the rosy things… and skip the details… and I tell them… not to stop trying… and this is what I done for my friend… Amber… she is a little disappointed… and I have done something special for her… but I am still waiting to send it up to her… Yes.. she isn’t on my floor anymore…but we are as connected as anyone… we talk… we laugh… we do have tea together… yess… so what if she is on the 10th floor and I am on the 3rd floor… but we meet everyday..and talk about anything and everything… :D and I tell her… “abay janay de…” and she says to me… “abay chadooo..”  its like… we give inspiration to each other… we support each other…and we just tell each other whatever we are feeling…and get over with that negative talk…  she has never had a sister…and for her I am her sister… hehehe… only she is married… with her stupid husband and two kids… and I am still single and ready to mingle…
So yes… I am not gonna stop trying.. I’d keep on smiling… and so what… iss saal nahi tou next year… I am still too young to be at that position…right?  life is full of surprises…and may be it has something good waiting for me… and I am actually looking forward to it… ohh yes… we make choices… we make choices all the time… and learn from our mistakes… and make sure that we don’t repeat the same mistakes over and over again… :S But when I am making the choice…how do I make sure that I am making the right decision?? How would I know whether this is best for me…?? Ohh God.. I am actually mixing so many things together… but any how… “hum hongay kamyaab… hum hongay kamyaab… hum hongay kamyaab ek din…” :D

The Year 2010...

The year 2010... marks the 5 years of my working though I started working in July 2005... Yes, the career started with Fergusons... with my parents and chacha jumping up and down.. that yay our girl has made it to the fergusons...

Hmmmph... its been a looonnnggg looonnnnggg ride.... and a bumpy one too... not that I am complaining or anything.. but I have learnt alot in these past so many years... and still have a long way to go...

At fergusons, I got to know so many people.. who taught me how to enjoy AND work... Yes, thats what the girls at AFF have taught me.. there is time for everything but offcourse work comes first and then, all the tafreh in the world...!!

In 2005, I started travelling in Buses and the Contracts... then, moved to taxi / rikshaw... and then, VAN... and Now I drive my own car... Yes, in this last half-a-dacade... I have moved on... :D

Ohh there is more... but in Part II..